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Feb
19, 2000
Bakit may wrist band si ERAP?
Para malaman nya kung ano
ang left sa right.
Pano mo malalaman kapag ginamit
ni ERAP ang computer?
May liquid paper sa
monitor.
Bakit nakatitig si ERAP sa juice
bottle?
Kasi nakasulat concentrate.
Bakit nag-iismile si ERAP pag
kumikidlat?
Akala niya may nagpi-picture
taking.
Feb
18, 2000
Little ERAP opened a box of animal
crackers and spread it all over the table.
MOM: What are you doing?
ERAP: It says on the box "Do not eat if SEAL is broken."
Hinahanap ko yung SEAL!
ERAP to Gloria: Galing ng bagong
cellphone ko! GSM!
GLORIA: Bakit naman?
ERAP: Kasi adaptable, pwede sa lahat!
GLORIA: Ha?
ERAP: Oo, GSM = Globe, Smart, Mobiline!
Ambassador to ERAP: I haven’t met
your wife? Where is she?
Napadaan si Loi.
ERAP: Oh my wife? She just passed away.
Erap was about to return a bottle
of coke when he suddenly went back home.
WIFE: Why did you return?
ERAP: I forgot my hat. It says return with cap.
Returning from Australia...
ERAP: Ganda ng animals don lalo na yung dangaroos!
BODYGUARD: Sir, baka kangaroos?
ERAP: Hinde! Sabi ng sign "Please don’t touch, these animals
are dangerous!"
ERAP at a ballet performance. He
sees the dancers tiptoeing and twirling.
ERAP: Tsk! Tsk! Silly choreographers! Why didn’t they just find
taller ballerinas?
At a restaurant Erap heard the
couple next table are ordering: "Bring us Swiss steak and
French fries."
ERAP: I’ll have the same, give me the sweepstakes and first prize.
Feb
17, 2000
BATA: Mr. President, bakit ganyan
ka maglakad?
ERAP: Kasi sabi ng Doc, Cholesterol is bad for the heart. Kaya
iniiwasan ko yung itlog.
ERAP in New York bumps into a
blackman.
BLACKMAN: Hey watch it! You MUDAFUCKA!!!
ERAP: Gago to a, MADAFAKA rin sana!!!
ERAP paging Jinggoy: "Jinggoy,
you left your beeper in the house."
ERAP to operator: Pwede bang
malaman kung ano ang time difference ng Philippines sa U.S.?
OPERATOR: Just a minute, Sir...
ERAP: Oh i see... thanks!
Driver to ERAP: Boss, pakitingin
naman yung signal lights kung gawa.
ERAP (nilabas ang ulo at tinignan): Oops gawa, oops sira, oops gawa...
FVR: Sorry I’m late. Na-stuck
kasi ako sa elevator for 2 hrs.
ERAP: OK lang yon, ako nga na-stuck ako sa escalator for 3 hrs eh!
Feb
16, 2000
Erap at the Fish Port...
PRESS: Sir, kamusta ang peace and order dito?
ERAP: Ang fish marami, ang order konti dahil sa lumubog na barko.
Sa isang lamay...
ERAP: Tayo na Jinggoy, mauna na tayo.
JINGGOY: Bakit po?
ERAP: Hindi mo ba nakikita yung sign, "REMAINS WILL BE
CREMATED."
ERAP: Wow, bango mo ngayon ah.
Anong pabango mo?
Loi: Basta, secret!!
ERAP: Secret? diba pangpahid yon sa kilikili?
Feb
15, 2000
ERAP: Ano ang English ng "hindi
ko alam?"
Ramos: I don’t know!
ERAP: Ha ha ha!!!
Ramos: Bakit ka tumawa?
ERAP: Kasi hindi mo rin alam ang sagot!
CHINA: We’ll send a man to space
by year 2000.
RUSSIA: We’ll send a man to the moon.
USA: We’ll send a man to Mars.
ERAP: We’ll send a man to the sun.
SCIENTIST: Impossible! It’s very HOT!
ERAP: Stupid! We’ll send him at night!
Erap orders pizza.
WAITER: Sir do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 or 8?
ERAP: 4 na lang baka hindi ko maubos pag-8!
Feb
14, 2000
EXOTIC COLORS:
Plematic Green,
Ebakish Brown,
Spermatic White,
Bulbonic Black,
Reglatic Red,
Uhogish Yellow,
Utongic Pink,
Clitoric Fuschia,
Bayagish Lavander
Feb 13, 2000
Q: Anong celfone ng
mga gumagamit ng viagra?
A: Nokaya
Q: Eh ng mga
malibog?
A: Ericsyon
Q: Ng mga naninilip?
A: Boscho
Q: Ng mga nagbabasa
ng tabloid?
A: Motoymola
Q: Bakit mas
malakas umutot ang boys kaysa sa girls?
A: Dahil may malapit na
microphone!
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